As I’ve spent more time recently moving from city to city between farm stays, the challenges of life on the road have hit me harder.
Who’d have thunk.
As I go around trying to learn about community, not being consistently close to one community myself -it only makes sense that I’d be feeling deprived of those deeper connections often only found from regular fellowship with a local group of believers.
“I’m not wasting my time talking with you”
One incident this week in particular made me keenly aware of this challenge I’ve given myself while travelling. For just this week, I am working at a farm/garden in Atlanta, Georgia – kind of as a mid-point on my way to see family in Tennessee for Christmas. Since it gives me an opportunity to meet people from the area, I went to a swing dance nearby last night.
Before the dance began, I got to talking with a group of people. One guy casually made mention of the fact that he was from South Africa. Having just met Becky from Boston who’d met her husband and raised a young family in South Africa, I had learned a bit about the area’s history. So, with much curiosity, I asked this fellow at the dance if he had a British heritage. He replied, yes, and that his family had an interesting story. But when I asked if he would share his story, he responded by saying something along the lines of, “Nah, you’re only here for a week.” Though said in a joking tone, I guess this was a bit rude. But honestly, I get it. And I appreciate him just openly speaking his mind. There was truth behind his humor. Effectively, he was saying that to share his story with a stranger just passing through would not be a good investment of his time. (And for his redemption, right before a dance starts is not the easiest time to break into a long story anyways.)
Though small, it reminded of something bigger
To be fair, even before this dead-ended conversation, I had been feeling more and more hesitant to reach out for connection with people for this same reason. (-Feeling like I have nothing to offer people because I will not be able to stay and invest in a longer-term friendship.)
Back in North Carolina, I was staying in the Durham area primarily to meet and fellowship with Rosaria Butterfield and her church, having admired her testimony and convictions in her book, The Gospel Comes with a House Key.
Yes, I got to attend her church.
Yes, she invited me over to her house with others for Sunday evening dinner.
And yes, I even got to join in at the mid-week neighborhood Bible study and dinner she hosts weekly in her home.
Goodness – I even spent Thanksgiving (with half of her church) in her home!
I could witness the love and hospitality she had towards others, which was so special and encouraging.
But… Even with all of the people around, I was craving more one-on-one fellowship. -Really getting to know another person -Hearing their story and getting to share my own.
Now, I was especially hoping to get to know Rosaria more and to learn from her testimony. But in visiting her home, I could see how she was pouring herself out to the people in her family, her church, and her community. It was just as she described in her book. Her home was a beautiful example of creating community by loving others in every circle of life. She poured so much into others (she home-cooked nutritious meals from scratch, was always lovingly there for her adopted children, and genuinely showed interest in the lives of all around her with ready support, encouragement, or biblical advice for each circumstance).
And in the warm environment that was her home, I started to feel this new hesitancy to reach out for deeper connection. Who was I, after all, to pull her away from the ministry to her community? I am just someone passing through. I’ll show up at her church and Bible studies while I can, but I cannot get involved in her community in any significant way for such a short time. It seemed rather selfish to hope that she would invest a good chunk of her valuable time to get to know me, as I wanted to get to know and learn from her.
In the end, for this and various other of my own reasons, I did not end up connecting really significantly with Rosaria or her family. But, I did meet one older woman in the church who just seemed wisened by life’s experiences. And when I reached out to her, she welcomed me over to her apartment for dinner and crocheting. That was probably the highlight of my 3 week stay in North Carolina, as far as finding good fellowship with another believer.
Shaping my path’s intentions
These past few experiences are undoubtedly going to help shape how I plan my travels as I continue on. So far, I have been staying for three to four weeks at each place (solo travel excursions aside). But everywhere I have gone, I have felt like I could have stayed longer. On top of that, the people I meet continually try to convince me to stay longer! And so, perhaps I will. While I still want to use WWOOFing as a way to see the country, perhaps I will have to slow things down a bit and more carefully and intentionally pick just a few farms to stay at for longer periods of time. That would also really help me to establish more of a personal routine and to work towards personal goals – something I’ve been struggling with recently, as my stays in each new city have been brief.
And, while I will still be bound to return to the road after each visit, perhaps the longer stays will provide opportunities for deeper connection with people than I’ve yet experienced.
Growing appreciation for what I’ve left behind
It is interesting, having found it so difficult to find encouraging, supportive fellowship recently, to reflect on my experience after just having set out. I am left with an even greater appreciation for the kingdom Christians I met in the AC churches back in IL and OH who, even knowing that I would be moving on, welcomed me in and sooo generously invested in me. The conversations we shared were personal and engaging in a way that was challenging, encouraging, and so refreshing. I am more than ever before amazed at how much they sought for connection, even knowing that I would be moving on in several weeks.
I pray God will somehow lead me to more believers like that. Otherwise, I am not so sure I will last very much longer on the road.
It is not natural for someone to be always on the move, disconnected from a consistent community. While God has given me a special few people to keep in contact with back home, it is not the same as regular Bible studies, and meals, and doing life in various ways with believers who I can count on to always be there in person. -And who will also be there to keep me accountable and to expect and encourage my growth. I know without a doubt that God designed the church for such consistent and close fellowship among the body of believers. And I crave that more and more, even while feeling that it is not my place to ask such close fellowship with people who I just drop in and visit with as I pass through.
Why don’t I quit?
The one thing that keeps fueling and driving me on this journey, though, is how many opportunities I have to meet people on the farms who are already on a journey of their own – having discarded the broad path of industrial agriculture, consumerism, materialism, capitalism, entertainment (and the list goes on…), they are seeking the narrow path instead. The people I am meeting have come to deep convictions about how we as humans are meant to live. And, even though most of the people I’ve been working with are not believers, they can see God’s design for the world and our lives more clearly than most Christians I’ve met back home. And interestingly, because they have come to respect and value His design in certain areas, their values often fall closely in line with Biblical values. Because of this, endless opportunities exist to share with them how I’ve found what is good and true in so many of these different areas all coming together to point towards God’s perfect and loving and just reign and in living for His Kingdom.
But beyond this, just being able to live and work with others in a way that heals the earth and builds community, and provides nutritious, safe food – this has been sooo refreshing. The people on the farms that I get to work with have so incredibly much to share – about farming, or just their own life’s experiences. I do not know what life will look like after my travels, but one thing I do know: on every farm I’ve visited, I have gotten more valuable ideas of how to live life in a richer, more meaningful and fruitful way. This has to be worth it.
Out of Place 