Wednesday, October 24th
Yesterday and today, I took my time journeying from His Mansion Ministries in New Hampshire, south through Connecticut, towards the Fox Hill Bruderhof community nestled along the beautiful Hudson River in New York. Once again, I have been so impressed by the beautiful hilly landscape of New York – especially in crossing the Hudson River.
After passing the cheery entrance sign, a sweet girl, Julie, met me when I arrived. During my entire stay, Julie walked with me to many activities, and helped coordinate meals with some of her friends and others who wanted to host me, a visitor.
First off, I was shown to the room I’d stay in during my visit. It was a very minimal, but cozy single dorm room with a bed, bedside table, and little closet. at least 3 other families were on the same upstairs wing of the building (a school-house downstairs) that I was staying on. But even so, it did not feel apartment-like. Peoples doors were kept open, for the most part. And, a central kitchen was shared by all on this side of the building. This, I’m sure, required very intentional planning when family meal-times came around. But I also got to witness how lovingly the families interacted and shared whatever they had if the other families found themselves short of something.
Oh, because the kitchen was shared, the apartments were very minimal. A dining room with table and chairs, a couch or two on the edge of the room, and a bedroom/bathroom (maybe two). Clutter -in the kitchen, and in the apartments- was VERY minimal to nonexistant, I observed.
My first Bruderhof meal
The gathering/meal space, arranged for a community meeting
Tonight, all the young adults shared dinner in the main dining/meeting hall. The building was spacious and beautiful. Though there were a good number of young people, the huge place still felt very empty without the rest of the families. I hear there are more than 200 people who live on the property!
Speaking of the dining space, I learned that about three times a week a 7-8pm meeting will be announced at group lunchtime of the same day. The meetings are organized around different topics deemed worthy of discussion.
After dinner, Julie took me back to my room, where just down the hall, a neighboring mid/older couple had invited us and another couple over for a visit. It was charming to hear of some of their experiences and their appreciation for the simple things in nature. They shared some foraged pears from a recent hike, and showed me a stash of hickory nuts they’d gathered so far this fall. Ah, these are my kind of peoples!
Another neat thing I’ve observed about life here is how ridiculously easy it is to visit with others! Having multiples families of different ages and seasons of life all together on one floor builds connection. Also, all of the housing buildings are no more than a 15-minute walk from each other. So to invite people over for dinner – or even a 6am breakfast – would require almost no advance planning and scheduling hassle.
Julie says that she has a special couple who she spends time with a lot – at breakfasts, other meals, and just to hang out in down time. She can help them with their children if they need it, and they can provide her a sense of home or family. Apparently, it is normal for the bruderhof to assign young people like Julie (who was transferred here, away from her home community and family) to have an ‘adopted’ family like this.
Or perhaps not so much…
So this thing about relocating young people. Well, it’s not just the young people. It is actually common for families of all seasons of life to be relocated to different communities in the same state or across the country. The couple next door is actually on their way out next month to do mission work in the middle east. This, I believe, was largely their choosing. But often, people are just directed to relocate as the community leaders see the need. Most that I’ve talked to see joyful submission to these requests as equivalent to submitting to God’s will. Though I have some serious concerns with delegating out the personal leading of the Holy Spirit to group leaders (!), there was something beautiful present among the people who had found contentment in this submission. To take on the mindset of being prepared to, at any time, leave what has become comfortable – one’s home, one’s family and friend circle, one’s profession – well… This is how I believe all Christians should view their lives. If we see a need, Jesus teaches us to give of what we have out of love for others. And if that means downsizing our home, or relocating to a neighborhood where we can better serve the broken, this is exactly what we should be ready to do.
Okay, so while I don’t agree with how little individual choice there is, the Bruderhof’s frequent relocations definitely can help to cultivate this selfless, serving, adaptable attitude in an interesting way among its members.
Another less admirable part about life here is what I learned of how all of the children, once they reach high school, are sent away from the community to a neighboring community (maybe 45-60 minutes away) where they do school with all the other bruderhof children. It seemed really strange to me that so many parents would be willing to send their children so far, rather than want to invest their own time in their education. But alas, homeschooling is no option in the bruderhof. I guess they must not have big enough questions/concerns and have relinquished trust to their community about how their children are educated.
I also learned how, from when the children are incredibly young, the children are put into (loving) childcare within the community, and the mothers return back to their work positions within the community. This remains the same as the children move into school age. To me, it seemed that the children spent so much of their time being raised by the rest of the community. And when so much of life (like communal lunches and other community activities and meetings) are already done alongside other people, it seemed that the amount of time alone with children during the week would be so precious and sparse. But that is just my perception, and I can’t say I visited with any families with younger children during my stay to properly observe how they lived. But still, I was unshakably uneasy that the option was not given for bruderhof mothers to stay home and teach/train even their young children.
Admirable/interesting people
During even my first night, I noticed a diversity of backgrounds in the people I was meeting. I got to meet Alina, whose face I recognized from some of the Bruderhof Youtube videos that peaked my interest in the first place. I also met another young woman my age, who I had also seen on the Youtube channel, giving her take on the Bruderhof as a visitor. I learned of the path that had led her here. Sounding much like my own search for intentionality and a place where the church has a deep love for one another, her path of searching for other Christ-followers had led her through Koinonia Farm and eventually to this community.
Meeting everyone so far today with such different stories and experiences, I have to say, there is certainly plenty to admire about these people and their way of life. All of the older people people seem to have colorfully different stories about how they ended up here. I’d better get to bed, because apparently Julie has my day tomorrow all scheduled full of visits with more interesting people and joining in on the community work.
Out of Place 